Irreclaimable Minutes of Your Life

Pretty sure every woman I’ve ever known is in a long-term relationship. I’m so depressed.


HER: So, when you say you CAN’T fall in love with a woman again because you love with a “cosmological love,” do yo mean you only love the idea of the woman? Let’s say I love flowers am I loving cosmologially?

ME: Well, let’s see, do you love;

The Idea of the flower,

The seed that was planted in anticipation of the flower,

I’m having an awful lot of sex with the girlfriend for a guy doesn’t have a girlfriend.



I’m as agnostic as they get, but *this*.



I’m as agnostic as they get, but *this*.

The worst indictment on a relationship is “We never fight.”

Just when you think nobody’s looking, the lead actress of a network TV show mentions you on Twitter.

I’m single now and mildly annoyed that most of my female friends are not.

How many times today have I said “What the hell! You’re *still* together?

A lot.

I am so bad with rejection. Still, I reject like so many people.